Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Season of Loss

"That afternoon, in the golden light of dusk, Daniel let go.  He fell effortlessly.  He seemed to smile peacefully as he fell.  'Goodbye for now, Freddie,' he said."  
                                                         The Fall of Freddie the Leaf, Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D.

Fall brings change.  Landscapes transform, a little or a lot.  Green grass gives way to blades of gold and yellow.  The trees let go their leaves.  Things die.  

Autumn's synonym, "Fall", comes from the Old English word feallen which means “to fall or to die."  An apt description as the natural world transitions into the "dead of winter" and life goes underground to prepare for its rebirth in the Spring.

I wonder.  Is it easier for nature?  Most would attest that death, for us, is an entirely different matter.

In doing research for this blog to observe Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day, I found a boatload of advice when researching the word "grief" -- a tiny word that represents the formidable journey through loss.  

Definition of grief.
Phases of grief.
How to process grief.
5 stages of grief.
10 things to say to someone who is grieving.
15 things NOT to say to someone who is grieving.
The Whirlpool of grief.
A Mother's grief.
A Father's grief.







Some months ago I attended my first birth of a stillborn baby.  As trouble often does, this situation arose out of nowhere.  Nothing prepared this mother...this doula...nothing gave warning.  This precious baby boy was here and then he was gone.  

Kindness arrived and multiplied.  

Family, friends, and hospital staff were the balm that supported this mother and father through the hardest moment of their lives as parents. 

May kindness continue.  

May the kindness continue for that precious couple.  May the kindness be present for every mother and father, especially those who do not have support systems.

May women be invited into spaces where they can speak with other women who have traveled the path and can offer a hand of support and encouragement.  

May we honor these little lives...naming their names...remembering the precious time (long or short) in their mama's belly.  May we remember again and again.  

May we gather and remember.

On this day of remembrance, I invite you to light a candle and send positive energy, prayer, and good thoughts to these moms and dads.  

Who has traveled this path?
Let her walk with me a while.
We are both healed.  -Unknown

Blog by Kathie Neff, CD(DONA)
Birthing From Within Certified Mentor
Owner of Seasons Within 


Wave of Light - Wednesday, October 15, 2014 - Light a candle from 7pm to 8pm in honor of these tiny lives.  More info HERE:

An Evening of Remembrance - Wednesday, October 22, 2014
More information HERE:

Seasons Within Doula Group Facebook Page HERE:


Sweet Pea Project HERE:

Stillbirth Couples Support Group HERE: